A child reaches the age of 5 years, and strange things begin to happen to him: he cries for no reason, shows aggression towards family members, or completely withdraws into himself. Parents should not panic about difficulties in communicating with their child; this is a normal crisis in the child’s behavior, one of the stages of adolescence. Adults need to be patient and give the baby maximum attention and care.
So, a child’s 5-year-old crisis: how it manifests itself, advice to parents
Changes in child behavior and psychology at 5 years old
The intense changes occurring in the child’s body at the physiological and psychological level at the age of five leave a negative imprint on the baby’s nervous system. During this period, children are subject to experiences and changes in mood. Having noticed that the child began to behave differently, parents cannot always understand the reason for such changes in behavior. Advice from child psychologists will help parents cope with the situation, not harm the child’s psyche and not waste their time. They need to understand that:
- During this period, the child’s social adaptation occurs. He tries to understand the relationships between people, strives to make friends with peers, understand the reasons for the behavior of adults and evaluate them.
- Children as young as five are aware of the differences between girls and boys.
- They are sensitive to such moral concepts as “good or evil”, “attentive, sensitive attitude towards a person or indifference” and so on.
- They try to reason and present their own conclusions to adults, sometimes causing bewilderment to their parents.
- Children develop a feeling of fear: being left alone at home or in a dark room, losing the love of their parents, disappointing them with their actions, and much more.
During this period, the inquisitive child's mind intensively learns about the world around him and its laws. Children imitate adults in everything, especially those whom they consider the absolute authority. In fact, they still cannot correctly formulate and even understand the actions of adults. Therefore, it is during this period that all family members should show an exceptionally friendly attitude towards five-year-old children.
On the subject: What to play at home and outside with a 5-year-old child
Communication with a child: why it fades away
On the one hand, the natural processes of separation (separation) of the child from the mother are at work - he gets older, the need for physical contact between mother and child and child with mother becomes less. In addition, he begins to be actively interested in his peers and his own achievements. Many interests outside the home appear. And mom frees up time for herself or work. Life becomes more intense, and it is not always possible to find the time and desire to share with each other experiences, thoughts, feelings about what happened or what was seen.
In addition, if a child goes to kindergarten full time, there is even less time for communication. In the 4-5 hours a day that parents spend with their children, adults need to do so much. What close communication and heart-to-heart conversations there are!
On the other hand, it happens that the mother gets emotionally tired. The first years of constant involvement with the baby, the incredible return that early motherhood requires, is a great emotional burden. And if you don’t replenish your resources and don’t take care of your rest, emotional exhaustion can gradually set in. And then the mother may simply not have the strength for close, deep communication with the child.
Main signs of a crisis
All children at the age of five go through a period of formation of a new personality. It goes differently for each child, it depends on the state of the mental and emotional level of the child. Signs of growing up and the degree of their manifestation are different, but there are still symptoms that are characteristic of most children:
- Unreasonable manifestation of anger, unmotivated aggression towards family members, “withdrawal”, isolation.
- Demanding fulfillment of their desires, accompanied by whims and hysterics.
- Refusal of outside help, the child’s main motto becomes “I do it myself!” They refuse to walk in the yard with their parents, or cross the road holding their mother’s hand, even if there is heavy traffic on the highway or there are a lot of people.
- Attempts to make faces, make fun of others, behave like a buffoon. The girls begin to pretend, driving their relatives crazy with their behavior. Sometimes parents stop recognizing their children, so abruptly do they change their behavior.
- Showing a feeling of fear that they might do something wrong and incur the displeasure of adults. They do not make contact with people and hide behind their parents, embarrassed to even talk. They refuse to go for a walk in the yard.
At this time, children experience an urgent need for imagination. They surprise their parents with stories about all sorts of tall tales, and make up stories about friends who do not exist in reality. Many mothers and fathers become angry with the child, call him a liar and a deceiver, and are wary that he may continue to perfect the art of lying. There is no point in scolding and punishing for this; you can listen carefully to the child and praise him for his essay without offending his feelings.
Turn the conversation into a good joke. The child will be happy to tell you his fantastic stories.
In addition, children develop increased curiosity: eavesdropping on adults’ conversations, spying on them.
If you notice that your child’s mood often changes or he gets tired quickly, then know that these are the main signs of a child’s transition period.
Develop fine motor skills
This is now written about in almost every child-rearing manual and many doctors repeat with one voice. And there are reasons for this. There are many techniques for developing fine motor skills - finger games, hand massage, special exercises to imitate movements, aids (laces, labyrinths). Finger games are a great way to awaken the dormant speech centers of the brain. Use it. Start with the simplest and well-known folk nursery rhymes - finger games (“Magpie”, “Ladushki”, “Cabbage”).
Playing with plasticine is also useful for developing motor skills. Store-bought plasticine can be replaced with salted modeling dough. Drawing with special finger paints can also be an indispensable help. The older the child, the more work his fingers require.
Reasons for behavior change
The reason for the change in the child’s behavior lies in the format of a mental, physiological and nervous surge in the baby’s body. Children at this age seem quite mature, which they try to constantly remind their parents of. However, he still feels that he cannot stand on the same level as adults due to a number of circumstances. It is during this period that children begin to consciously control their emotions and behavior. This is due to the rapid development of the cerebral cortex, which is responsible for correct behavior.
Five-year-old children strive to communicate with peers and try to establish close contacts with them while walking in the yard or park. However, not all children make contact, while others simply ignore the child’s desire to make friends. This brings disappointment to the baby.
At the age of 5 years, children speak normally, but they do not always have the ability to correctly and clearly formulate their thoughts or desires for adults. Their parents' misunderstanding makes them angry and forces them to withdraw into themselves. They distance themselves from their parents and no longer consider them role models. Parents must understand that the time for meekly fulfilling their will has passed; the child begins to argue with adults and prove the correctness of his opinion by any means.
The emotional background will tell you how to get your child to talk
Children find some emotional expressions funny, and they like to repeat a set of words they hear. This is a great way to get a silent little one to talk. At an early age, this is a very useful practice that allows you to hone the pronunciation of individual words. This can be imitation of the sounds made by animals or some household objects, as well as various types of transport. It is better to play the game of imitation sounds systematically, using all your acting abilities. It’s just important to take into account that there is no place for nerves and coercion, the game should be built on interest caused by intrigue.
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Psychologist's advice
Every parent or preschool teacher must understand the difficult state of the child’s body during the transition period. Children should not be punished for bad behavior. This can lead to isolation and development of complexes in the child.
The use of physical force in the form of punishment of children is strictly prohibited. It is difficult for children during this period, and corporal punishment will only aggravate the situation and cause trauma to the nervous system and psyche.
If the family does not have a trusting relationship with the child, this will inevitably lead to the child’s confidence that no one is interested in his “misfortunes.” He will believe that no one cares and no one loves him.
You should not ridicule your child’s actions in the presence of strangers; this will hurt the child’s self-esteem. Make all complaints and comments to the child while you are alone with him.
Parents must remember that their expression of negative emotions on their child’s behavior can only encourage the child to take more aggressive actions. No matter how difficult it is to control your emotions, it is worth putting on a calm face when your child is hysterical. He will lose interest in manipulating you, seeing that he will achieve nothing with such behavior, and he will soon calm down.
The formation of perception of the surrounding world is difficult for children; this is a kind of test for the child’s body. Therefore, parents need to be patient and treat the child’s behavior changes with understanding.
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