Any communication between people includes three points: communication through the exchange of information, mutual exchange of actions and the inclusion of a conceptual apparatus for assessing the perception of the interlocutor’s signals and their understanding. One of the most important means of communication is linguistic communication, or as it is also called, verbal communication.
Verbal communication is a method of communication between interlocutors that involves conveying information using words.
The need for communication
Society was formed precisely thanks to the mutual understanding of the members of the primitive pack, because only with the help of communication could people interact, cooperate and find common solutions to complex problems that evolution organized for them.
From the point of view of nature, the human body is a weak structure, not adapted either to competition with predators for a piece of meat, or to survival in difficult weather conditions. We have no claws, no strong jaws or sharp fangs; in cold weather we freeze without clothes, since we do not have a thick undercoat. Evolution has given us the most important tools for development: an opposable thumb that helps us hold tools, a developing brain capable of higher nervous activity, the invention of new things, and the ability to act together.
Group action is only possible if members of the pack can agree on interaction, and for this, humanity was forced to invent language and master verbal communication.
27Nonverbal means of communication. Types of gestures
non-verbal means of communication:
Expressive movements (body posture, facial expressions, gestures, gait).
— Arms crossed on the chest, legs crossed in standing and sitting positions - a classic gesture of closedness, inaccessibility. Frequent blinking is a sign of protection and confusion. A person’s emotional status does not allow him to feel free and at ease. If a person holds his hand to his chin, with his index finger stretched along his cheek, and with the other hand supports his elbow, his left eyebrow is lowered - you will understand that he has a negative assessment of what is happening. The so-called “director pose” or “boss pose” in a sitting position. Hands lie behind the head, one leg on the other. If the eyelids are barely closed or the corners of the eyes are slightly squinted, the gaze is directed downward - you see arrogance, disdain. This body position is often adopted by bosses and people in leadership positions as a means of nonverbal communication.
Tactile movements (handshake, pat on the back or shoulder, touching
, kisses). A cold hand in a handshake can signal that its owner is either cold or very worried. Steamy palms indicate a nervous experience. A hand that is palm down in a handshake indicates a desire to dominate the other person. If, on the contrary, it is turned palm up, its owner unconsciously recognizes himself as subordinate to the interlocutor.
Visual contact gaze (direction of gaze, its duration, frequency of contact
).
The interlocutor's hands are turned palms up and spread wide to the sides. The head is straight, the shoulders are straightened. The look is direct. The facial expression is natural, without tension or stiffness. This pose of friendliness, as a means of non-verbal communication, speaks of openness and sincerity. It is also indicated by shaking hands and clasping them with both hands.
Spatial movements (orientation, distance, placement at the table).
Intimate communication zone (from half a meter to direct bodily contact).
Lovers, parents with children, and very close friends usually communicate at such a distance. If a stranger tries to come close to you, you will experience discomfort. In addition to the closest people, doctors, nurses, tailors and other specialists whose profession requires direct bodily contact with the client are allowed into this zone.
Personal communication zone (from 0.5 m to 1.5 m).
The boundaries of this zone are different for different cultures. As a rule, people who know each other well communicate at such a distance. This distance allows them to touch each other, shake hands, and pat each other on the shoulder. According to Fast, most people consider this zone their personal space and are not inclined to let strangers into it. Imagine that you are sitting in a half-empty cafe. A new visitor comes in and, although there are free tables nearby, sits down next to you. You will most likely feel awkward. Have you noticed that in crowded places, for example in a crowded elevator, on a bus or on a subway train, people avoid visual contact with each other, try to look out the window or stare at the wall? It is clear that such behavior is caused by the desire to maintain the boundaries of personal space.
Formal communication zone (from 1.5 m to 3 m).
At such a distance, business, as well as casual and unimportant conversations are usually conducted. You are probably familiar with the expression “keep your distance,” which is used to describe the relationship between a boss and a subordinate. Indeed, it would be strange if the interlocutors talked about personal and intimate things, standing three meters from each other. This distance is more appropriate in a situation of a formal interview or business negotiations.
Public communication area (more than 3 m).
If you are sitting in a huge hall and listening to a speaker speak, then you can say that you are in a public communication situation. The space separating you from the speaker is the public communication area. In such a situation, intimate gestures and comments are inappropriate; you can't shake the lecturer's hand, pat him on the shoulder or ask him how he spent his weekend. Even business communication is impossible at such a distance.
Nonverbal communication - difficulties in translation
Verbal communication is communication through spoken words. It is believed that nonverbal communication through gestures, facial expressions and recognition of their meaning provides more information than verbal communication. Without knowing a foreign language, we are able to point the right direction to a foreigner on the street or, albeit vaguely, to grasp the essence of a movie in an unfamiliar language, assessing the motor skills of the actors.
The problem with nonverbal communication is that, despite general intuitive clarity, details elude the interlocutors. Gestures can show “I’m hungry” or “I need to go there”, you can express vivid emotions - anger, sadness, joy, but facial expressions will not help you explain to your partners during business negotiations on what terms you are ready to organize the supply of equipment, which machines are not allowed send by sea, and what is the maximum discount that will follow when purchasing products in bulk. Thus, despite the importance of non-verbal communication, it is still inferior to verbal communication at moments when it is necessary to establish clear, clear and unemotional communication.
Secrets of success in business verbal communication
Negotiations are an integral part of running any business. It is there that partners negotiate deals, sign contracts, etc. Your success and profitability of your business will largely depend on how well you know how to communicate, convey your point of view, and convince. Essentially, if you have good verbal business communication skills, then the business will flourish and generate income.
Equally important is the ability to inspire everyone around you with your ideas and enthusiasm, family members, team members, even your bosses. It's good if you can consider short-sighted decisions and dissuade people from implementing them. In essence, this is the foundation of verbal business communication.
Even ancient people at some point realized that reaching agreement on controversial issues was possible not only through military action. Yes, with spears and arrows you can easily get rid of dissenting opponents, subjugate the weak and force them to work for you, but in the heat of the struggle, your loved ones will also die. It is possible that at one time a simple survival instinct worked, but the person realized that negotiations, especially those conducted competently, are much more effective in helping to solve problems.
You can give a lot of examples of what methods people resorted to in negotiations at one time or another. Someone was waving a pistol left and right, and there were entire groups that sought influence by force. Somewhere in the far East, a joker walked around an old bazaar who, thanks to his sharp mind and sense of humor, was able to resolve any unexpected conflict. And the wise decisions of King Solomon will forever remain in history as the most competent and far-sighted.
- Masterfully conducted negotiations are half the success of any business
We can talk about competent technology for building verbal communication forever; this is an important and often discussed topic. And the issue of improving negotiation skills always remains relevant.
Where to gain this skill? It will appear with experience, here you should constantly practice, analyze mistakes (both your own and others), and learn lessons. Of course, the desire to learn and improve is important here. First, you study the issue theoretically, then train in the practical use of the acquired knowledge, evaluate the results, correct weak points, and then do it all over again. Work, work and more work. This is the only way you will gain serious skills, hone your skills in verbal communication and be able to negotiate competently and effectively.
In fact, you can work on improving your negotiation skills throughout your life; there are no limits or restrictions. With new acquired experience, you only hone your own skills even better.
No matter how much experience a person has in negotiating, there is no limit to perfection. Anyone who believes that they have reached the pinnacle of mastery in this matter simply does not want to continue to develop. You can and definitely need to constantly hone your skills.
- What makes a successful negotiation
To achieve high skill in negotiations, you should not only learn the basics of verbal communication, but also constantly improve your own skills.
What are the components of successful negotiations? Everything is important here, the smallest details, including sounds, smells, taste, color perception and the form of contact with the interlocutor. In the process of communication, this is reflected in the words spoken, the gestures a person uses, facial expressions, voice intonation, etc.
There are certain foundations for the formation of verbal communication, on which any negotiations are built. Сommunico translated from Latin means “I make it common, I connect, I communicate.” That is, the essence of communications is to establish a connection between people, to establish a stable, understandable and accessible exchange of messages for both parties.
In the process of communication, information is transformed from verbal to non-verbal form or in the reverse order.
In simple terms, information that exists in the head of one of the interlocutors is transmitted to another (one or more) using some verbal or non-verbal signals. And here it is important that these signals are as clear as possible. Then we can assume that communication was built correctly and the negotiations were successful. If we use the terminology of professional psychologists, then receiving and assimilation of information is called internalization, and giving information to others is called exteriorization.
It is not always possible to establish communication in such a way that the channels of output and input of information perfectly correspond to each other. Here you should pay attention to how the interlocutor reacts non-verbally to messages, what his internal state is at the time of receiving them. A person can be surprised, show joy, anger, agree or disagree, etc. And these reactions are expressed in the form of verbal signals, that is, some exclamations, phrases.
The functions of verbal communication are not to simply give or receive information, but to build a common process that is meaningful for both parties. That is, it is important that one participant in the communication expresses his thought, and the other hears it, realizes and accepts it.
Effective communication is precisely built on the fact that the parties first exchange information, digest it, and then together comprehend the essence of the issue being discussed.
- Techniques for conducting effective negotiations
Every conversation begins with a greeting. To do this, you can use different phrases, for example, “Good morning!”, That is, you wish your interlocutor a good start to the day. Or a simple word “Hello!”, which implies a wish for health. The greeting question “How are you?” you show interest and seem to invite them to talk. Or you greet a person with the phrase “It’s so good that you came”, “I’m very glad to see you!”, which undoubtedly demonstrates your respectful attitude.
At the beginning of negotiations, these so-called emotional strokes are extremely important; they set the partner up for positive communication, as if they give confidence in advance that everything will go well and the interaction will be useful and fruitful for both parties.
Of great importance is such a moment as addressing the interlocutor by name. Always remember that one’s own name is something that a person is pleased to hear always and under any circumstances (after all, that’s what parents, family members and other close people call him). Use this fact in verbal communication. Be sure to address your interlocutor by name, and in no case make mistakes in his pronunciation (this is unpleasant and even offensive to hear), however, you should also not repeat the first name and patronymic too often, so as not to get an obvious overkill.
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Depending on how the negotiations are structured, you can add social strokes, expressed approximately in the following phrases: “You are immediately visible as a professional”, “Your subordinates praised you very much, and I see that it was not in vain”, “I have heard a lot about you” , “Your long-time partners highly recommended you to me,” “I heard that you always keep your promises.” This is very reminiscent of moments when a mother praises her child: “How good you are!”, “You are the best child in the world,” “I’m proud of you,” and so on.
Mikhail Dashkiev about Sergei Azimov
- The "Mirror" principle
The way you behave and communicate will certainly affect the people around you. Thus, by looking at the reactions of others, you can draw conclusions about what is wrong in your behavior, what people perceive as normal, and where changes would be helpful.
That is, in the process of verbal communication you receive feedback from others. They, like a mirror, reflect the results of all your words and actions, and you, in turn, give a verbal reaction to the behavior of your interlocutor and can thus control the course of negotiations.
It is important to convey to your partner information about how his behavior causes you to react. On the one hand, you can perceive his words and actions in a positive way, and therefore support the chosen line of negotiations. But you may not like what is happening, then you will have a negative attitude towards everything your partner says and make efforts to correct the situation and correct the behavior of your interlocutor.
All these are options for feedback when building verbal communication. You can show another, seemingly neutral, reaction, namely, tell your partner that he, of course, can have his own point of view, which, without a doubt, is professional and valuable, but your vision of the issue is still different.
Language and speech
Speech is a verbal means of communication. Speech is a way of communication using various language structures, built according to the rules of the language used and using tools in the form of words. Speech appeared gradually with the evolution of our distant ancestors - ancient people, when onomatopoeia and meager gestures alone were not enough to clearly coordinate the actions of the tribe. Over time, language as a verbal means of human communication becomes increasingly complex due to the need to describe a huge number of emerging events and concepts. Ancient languages did not have the same syntax as modern ones: we use polynomials and complex constructions to express and describe huge amounts of diverse data.
It’s not for nothing that one of the first questions a mother is asked about her child is: “How many months old was he when he started talking?” The first words are an important milestone, because the inability to speak for a certain period is one of the reasons to consult a doctor to find out if there are delays in the child’s development, since speech is one of the main indicators of proper brain function.
What is nonverbal communication?
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Nonverbal communication is the transfer of information without the use of language. This method is called body language, as it is a tool for sending a message.
There are several types of nonverbal communication, each of which is studied by a specific scientific branch:
- Kinesics – postures, gestures, facial expressions. Our physiological movements can say more than words and express what cannot be done with speech.
- Tactile behavior - touching the interlocutor during a conversation. Some have a habit of touching others during dialogue, while others cannot stand it when someone does this. Tactile behavior can be professional, friendly, ritual, or loving. Each culture has its own tactile traditions or habits.
- Sensory – the perception of smells, tastes, sounds and colors, as well as the sensation of “warmth” or “cold” emanating from the communicator. With the help of these factors, an opinion about the interlocutor, his holistic image, is formed.
- Proxemics are spatial relationships, that is, the dependence of relationships on location and distances.
- Chronemics is a person’s reaction to time processes (assessing time, determining boundaries).
- Paraverbal spectrum – rhythm, tempo, intonation, voice timbre, individual characteristics of speech.
These nonverbal communications promote self-expression, motivate to know oneself, one’s character, as well as the characteristics of other people.
The role of nonverbal communication.
Research has shown that a person speaks about 30,000 words per day. But we learn more than 60% of the information about the interlocutor not thanks to them, but through non-verbal methods of interaction that accompany or complement linguistic speech.
Nonverbal means of communication perform a complex of roles:
- drawing up a psychological portrait;
- creating a certain image or image;
- statement of views, beliefs;
- formation of a child’s personality in the early period of development;
- determining the person’s state at the moment of the conversation.
We turn to body language regardless of the situation. Without it, we cannot create a full-fledged multifaceted message.
In general, the role of nonverbal signals is to organize communication between people in various situations (everyday conversations, business meetings, neutral conversation). If you learn to recognize the signals given by your interlocutor, you can prevent conflict, develop social connections, and achieve personal growth.
Verbal and non-verbal communication are the two wings of effective communication. What does “effective” mean? Read on.
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Written speech
Of course, you can do without talking even in business negotiations - we also have written speech, that is, a way to describe events and phenomena using letters without using the speech apparatus.
But written speech has a number of significant disadvantages:
- Saying a text is much easier and faster than writing it down on paper, and the time spent on writing, and that’s not all, the interlocutor needs to spend a few minutes reading the text and understanding it. In this case, negotiations may drag on unacceptably.
- The written text has no emotional connotation. This is a big plus for official documents or a contract, but when discussing a movie, declaring love or clarifying the relationship between spouses, you cannot do without emotions, and emoticons can only partially save the situation - they still cannot replace live facial expressions.
- Not all languages allow you to fully express what is happening on paper - although in the Japanese language there is a huge number of onomatopoeias, with which you can describe any sound, from the rustling of rice in a jar to the creaking of a wet sole. There are no analogues in Russian or English, and transferring information to paper often significantly impoverishes the descriptions of significant events.
Voice Characteristics
Intonation, volume, timbre, and rhythm of the voice can serve as an example of a combination of two types of communication. The same sentence will sound completely different if you alternate the listed methods. Both the meaning and the effect on the listener depend on this. Speech may also contain pauses, laughter, and sighs, which color it with additional colors.
Let's summarize. It is important to understand that a person unconsciously conveys much more to his opponent through nonverbal means, more than 70% of the information. The receiving subject must interpret correctly in order to avoid misunderstandings and quarrels. The perceiver also evaluates the signals sent by the speaker more, perceives them emotionally, but still does not always interpret them correctly.
In addition, a person verbally speaks only 80% of what he originally intended to convey. The opponent listens carefully, discerning only 60% of the information, and then forgetting about another ten percent of the information. Therefore, it is very important to take into account non-verbal signs in order to remember at least the purpose, the meaning of the addressee’s message that they so wanted to convey to you.
Flexibility of speech
One of the important characteristics of verbal communication is the flexibility of speech, which varies from person to person and depends on the character and conditions in which he grew up and was brought up. Someone has a rich vocabulary, replete with adjectives, and knows how to express their thoughts brightly, interestingly and effectively. Another prefers to say little, uses short, inexpressive phrases, but sentences that are very specific in meaning, does not overuse epithets and rarely flaunts beautiful speeches.
It cannot be said that the second is bad and the first is good, since this is just a way of communication and a toolkit, and often the same thought can be expressed either flowery and verbose, or simply, without decoration.
But the fact remains: in a society based on interaction, built on constant communication between people, people with good speaking skills are usually favored.
Examples
Verbal communication is a broad concept that covers all types of verbal expression of thoughts. Vivid examples of verbal communication:
- Reading books, magazines, any text documents. A person may not see the author in person, but by reading his work, he receives the information contained in the text.
- Mental reproduction of phrases. This action is usually performed for a specific purpose. Often the goal comes down to the subsequent voicing of the phrase to the addressee, which implies the existence of communication.
- Writing a text message on any medium. The communicator may not see the recipient in person, but when the recipient reads the message, a communication channel will be established between them.
- Listening to text. An example of verbal communication is the processes: listening to a lecture, attending a lesson, participating in an excursion.
Dialogue in a personal meeting, conversation on the phone, via teleconference or other means of communication, messaging in the messenger are examples of communication using speech.
How to improve a skill
One of the most important requirements for verbal means of communication is the ability to convey information to the interlocutor exactly in the form in which they want to say it.
It would seem, what’s so complicated here? Tell it like it is and everything will be fine. In fact, not all people can boast of the ability to clearly formulate their thoughts, express themselves clearly, and avoid ambiguity and excessive verbosity.
For verbal communication to perform its function well, it can be improved, like any other skill. To do this, try to carefully monitor the following points:
- Listen carefully, do not hesitate to ask whether you understood your opponent correctly, and explain how you perceived his words - often problems with communication occur precisely because of misunderstanding.
- Learn to formulate your thoughts clearly, concisely, without unnecessary words: if you yourself forget where you started, how can your interlocutor understand you?
As an exercise, mentally formulate the idea you want to talk about, and then outline it on paper as a speech outline. After several repetitions, you will understand how much unnecessary stuff we sometimes try to cram inappropriately into our descriptions, and colleagues or relatives lose the thread of reasoning already in the middle of a conversation, getting lost in unnecessary details.
How to Make Verbal Communication Effective
Thanks to communication, people coexist in this world, achieving certain heights in life. In order for communications to give positive results, and for others to want to communicate with a specific person, it is necessary to adhere to a number of principles:
- With your attention and interest, evoke a strong desire in your opponent to communicate.
- Evaluate people and events sincerely and honestly.
- Don't complain, judge or criticize.
- Show interest in your interlocutor, talk about things that are important to him.
- Learn not only to clearly express your thoughts, but also to listen carefully to your opponent’s speech.
Important! A thought poorly expressed can be misinterpreted. But inattentive listening also distorts the meaning of the information received. The ability to speak and listen are two components of communicative communication.
Interest in the interlocutor
- It is important not only what is said, but also how the words are pronounced. For the interlocutor, emotions and paraverbal signals (articulation, speed, tonality and accompanying sounds) present in speech can mean more than the spoken phrases.
There are people who can think clearly, but are not able to formulate phrases in oral speech. Others speak well, but have difficulty putting words into written form. Or vice versa - they present it beautifully on paper, but are tongue-tied in oral communication.
To achieve harmony in all types of verbal speech, you need to improve your abilities, overcoming psychological barriers.
Verbalization in personal communication
People do not have telepathic abilities, but, unfortunately, sometimes we forget about it. How often do women complain that their husband does not understand them, gives them the wrong gift, calls back too rarely, and at the same time a man can complain to friends that his wife is silent, but expects miracles of insight from him, does not hint about what gift he dreams of, distracts him with frequent calls , interfering with work.
What seems obvious to us is not always clear from the outside, so one of the main rules of communication is “verbalize.” Without speaking our thoughts, there is no guarantee that our gestures, vague hints and facial expressions will be perceived correctly.
Only the word makes it possible to clearly understand the message of the interlocutor, and situations when people guess from hints and get to the point are extremely rare, while in the event of a mistake, both are disappointed.
Verbal means of communication cannot be neglected even with the closest people. Resentments can accumulate for years, but sooner or later they will result in a serious scandal, and it may happen that while one of the spouses thought that everything was fine, the other was sure that things were heading towards divorce. And if they had talked in time, misunderstandings would have been eliminated.
Techniques of business verbal communication
Remember the famous law of the jungle? It sounds like this: “You and I are of the same blood, you and I.” This is an excellent example of how to establish verbal communication, build dialogues and negotiate.
The effectiveness of communication will increase many times over if the interlocutor feels a kindred spirit in you, sees that your life values and priorities, although they do not completely coincide with his own views, are generally close and understandable.
This approach echoes the mirror principle discussed above. You reveal yourself to a person (“mirror”), and in response he willingly demonstrates (reflects) his attitude towards you, your behavior, actions, words.
In the modern world, this technique is actively used for conducting all kinds of negotiations and meetings. Such events are organized in suitable places (taking into account the interests of the participants), a relaxed atmosphere is created where, over a cup of tea or coffee (and perhaps a cigarette or stronger drinks), people have the opportunity to communicate freely and with pleasure.
And here the main thing is not to forget about the main goal of the negotiations. Do not put too much pressure on your partner or demonstrate excessive openness bordering on intrusiveness. In response, he may withdraw, and further communication will become difficult.
Experts in verbal communications identify four parallel levels at which, as a rule, the communication process takes place:
- A set of well-known stereotypes and templates (clichés).
- Real events and accurate facts.
- Opinions of communication participants, their own judgments and ideas.
- Emotional manifestations.
What are templates and clichés for? They make it possible to start and end a conversation correctly, and to build communication in accordance with generally accepted standards and norms. Yes, we are talking about stereotypes and memorized rituals, but it is with their help that you demonstrate to your interlocutor your openness, willingness to listen and accept the information being conveyed. At the beginning of a conversation, they usually ask a question, state their own point of view, or voice some important fact.
How to start a conversation? For example, use the so-called presence effect. Find something interesting to discuss in your surroundings and start talking about it (but don’t look around too openly, do it carefully, as if by chance).
Another topic for communication is the interlocutor himself, but such a conversation is more difficult to start. To push your partner to interact and get a response from him, you can use the following phrases: “Do you think I’m right?”, “What do you think about this?”, “Do you agree?” etc.
How else can you engage a person in a conversation? Talk about something interesting, about the events of your own life, a book you read, touch on any topic that can become the basis for pleasant communication.
An indispensable condition for effective verbal communication is genuine interest in the partner and his point of view. It is important for a person to see that you are truly interested in him, and then your interaction will be as productive as possible.
Verbalization of feelings
What is verbal communication if not a way to use words to express the whole gamut of experienced emotions for a closed person, incapable and unaccustomed to expressing feelings through affection? He can only express all the pent-up love, or jealousy, or even anger through words, and there is nothing wrong with that - sometimes the situation requires an explanation, and someone who does not know how to verbalize what is happening in his head may end up in a very sad situation .
Verbal communication allows you to establish communication not only with the help of the words themselves, but also by changing the tone of voice, volume, and speed of speech. When expressing emotions, an experienced interlocutor can hear the essence behind the words, recognize a lie by the too fast pace of words spoken, the slightest hesitation and slips of the tongue.
The ability to communicate using verbal communication is invaluable in our time, it helps not only in work, but also in improving family relationships, and mastering the skill of high-quality oral speech can significantly improve your life.
What is effective communication?
Effective communication is a communication model built on the ability to hear the interlocutor. By feeling the psychological state of a person, we understand his internal state. This model requires us to be tolerant, sensitive to our interlocutor, empathy, and to use methods of verbal and nonverbal influence. If the interlocutors say to each other: “Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted to say, you understood me perfectly,” then an effective exchange of information has occurred.
7 rules of effective communication:
- Trust your interlocutor and create a favorable atmosphere.
- Do not avoid topics of a personal nature. They make relationships more trusting and sincere.
- Be specific. It is difficult to understand the addressee when his thought is unclear or there is no specificity in what is said. It is advisable to learn to speak directly and avoid ambiguity.
- Consider the interests of others. The interlocutor must understand that this conversation is also necessary for him, because everyone pursues their own goals.
- To be open. Criticism is great when it is contained. You must not be afraid to defend your position, but at the same time, respect the opinions of others, accept their right to think differently, having different views.
- Listen. For dialogue to be truly effective, you need to learn not only to listen, but also to listen to the addressee.
- Show concern and interest in the people around you, taking into account their problems.
Fundamentals of effective communication.
There are three basic skills that are the basis of effective interaction:
Attention. This skill helps to anticipate danger and grasp important points in a conversation. If a person is attentive and focused, it means that he is armed. Everyone involuntarily turns on their attention, which actively reads not only the audible text, but also the body movements of the interlocutor.
Observation . This quality became the basis of the method of deduction of the legendary Sherlock Holmes, the detective created by Arthur Conan Doyle. Brilliantly developed powers of observation help to recognize differences, notice details, quickly make decisions, and find a way out. By observing the gestures or behavior of the interlocutor, you can recognize dishonest people.
Flexibility of behavior. This is the ability to move to other models of behavior by abandoning your habits or principles. For example, an intelligent teacher who has been teaching literature for 50 years needs to explain to the builders that they are not doing their job conscientiously, making it clear that she is aware of this. In her situation, you should show flexibility of behavior - switch to their style of conversation.
The goal of all three skills is to receive feedback.
Features of speech communication processes
Processes of verbal communication may occur with certain difficulties. Since two or more people take part in such communication, with their own interpretation of the information, unforeseen tense moments may arise. Such moments are called communication barriers. Both verbal and nonverbal means of communication are subject to such barriers.
Logical - a barrier at the level of logic of information perception. It occurs when people with different types and forms of thinking communicate. The acceptance and understanding of the information provided to him depends on a person’s intelligence. Stylistic - occurs when the order of the information provided is violated and its form and content do not correspond. If a person starts the news from the end, the interlocutor will have a misunderstanding of the purpose of its presentation
The message has its own structure: first the interlocutor’s attention arises, then his interest, from there comes a transition to the main points and questions, and only then a conclusion from everything said appears. Semantic - such a barrier appears when people from different cultures communicate, there is a discrepancy between the meanings of the words used and the meaning of the message. Phonetic - this barrier arises due to peculiarities of the informant’s speech: unclear speaking, quiet intonation, shift in logical stress.
Communication levels
Verbal communication, like nonverbal communication, has its own characteristics, which we will talk about now
When talking to a person, pay attention to the distance at which you are from each other. We'll look at some basic communication layers:
Intuition (or, intuitive level). We are talking about a person who somewhere did not fully hear some news or misunderstood the essence of the information he read. He transforms it the way he wants it. Such a person will not always correctly understand a hint in his direction, especially a very subtle hint. Ethical level. Here we are talking about non-verbal means of communication. If a business person has well-developed intuition, then he will easily understand any gesture or facial expression of his interlocutor. This means he will understand what we are really talking about. Physical level. He appears only when the distance between communicating people is small enough. Carried out by any kind of touch
It is enough to pay attention to the frequent heartbeat or the manifestation of any emotions in a person, and you can understand a lot from this information
Unconscious reading of nonverbal cues
Just as the body gives away our lies by broadcasting involuntary nonverbal signals in the form of momentary microexpressions and gestures, our subconscious mind is able to read these types of nonverbal communication.
For example, you are communicating with an interlocutor who seems to be saying something pleasant, positive, making promises and convincing of his loyalty, but something inside you is itching: “He is lying, fawning, trying to hide information, he cannot be trusted!” . Some call it intuition, others call it a premonition, but from the point of view of the science of nonverbal communication, this is nothing more than the unconscious reading of the microexpressions of the interlocutor, comparing them with words and subconsciously assessing the correspondence. When a discrepancy is found between verbal and nonverbal signals, the brain tries to tell you in every available way: the person is hiding something, the gestures do not correspond to the words, you need to be on your guard!
Unconscious nonverbal behavior cannot be controlled, and specialists who can read such microexpressions learn to turn unconscious recognition of nonverbal communication gestures into conscious awareness through extensive training.
Gestures and postures
Body and hand movements convey a lot of information about a person. In particular, they reveal the immediate emotional reactions of the individual and the state of his body. They allow the interlocutor to judge what kind of temperament a person has, what kind of reactions he has (strong or weak, inert or mobile, slow or fast)
In addition, body movements and various postures reflect many character traits, a person’s degree of self-confidence, impetuosity or caution, looseness or tightness. The social status of the individual is also manifested in them
Expressions like “straighten your shoulders” or “stand half-bent” are not just descriptions of postures. They determine what psychological state an individual is in. It should also be noted that gestures and posture are non-verbal human behavior in which the cultural norms acquired by the individual are manifested. For example, if a man is well-mannered, he will not talk while sitting if his interlocutor is a woman and she is standing. This rule applies regardless of how a man evaluates the personal merits of a given woman.
Signs that are transmitted by the body are very important during the first meeting, since aspects of the personality of the interlocutor’s character do not appear immediately. For example, if you are applying for a job, you should sit up straight during the interview. This will demonstrate your interest. You should also look your interlocutor in the eyes, but not too persistently.
The following is regarded as an aggressive body position: a person is in tension, he is ready to move. The body of such a person is moved slightly forward, as if he is preparing to throw. This pose seems to signal that aggression is possible on his part.
Gestures play a very important role in communication
To attract attention, you can wave your hand invitingly. You can make an irritable dismissive gesture, twirl your hand at your temple
Applause means gratitude or greeting. A handclap or two is a way to get attention. Interestingly, clapping was used to attract the attention of the gods in a number of pagan religions (before sacrifice or prayer). Actually, modern applause came from there. The arsenal of meanings that were and are transmitted by hand clapping is very wide. This is understandable, because this gesture is one of the few that produce sound, and quite loudly.
Her forms
Forms of verbal communication include oral and written speech, as well as such forms of interaction as monologue and dialogue. Depending on the development of events, oral speech may acquire the characteristics of a dialogue or monologue.
Forms of verbal communication include different types of dialogues:
factual - exchange of information with the recipient for only one purpose - to support the conversation, sometimes this is perceived as a ritual (for example, when the question “how are you” does not involve listening to the answer); informational - an active process of information exchange, speech or discussion of any important topic; discussion - occurs when there is a contradiction in two or more points of view on the same problem, the purpose of such dialogue is to influence people to change their behavior; Confessional is a confidential type of dialogue that involves the expression of deep feelings and experiences.
Monologues in everyday life are not as common as dialogues. Verbal and nonverbal communication can be present in a monologue, when during a report or lecture a person not only provides information, but also accompanies it with facial expressions, gestures, a raised tone and changing intonation. In this case, both words and gestures become a specific code for the transmitted message. To effectively perceive these codes, it is necessary to understand them (it is difficult for a Russian person to understand a Chinese person, just as certain gestures are incomprehensible to the average person).
Microexpressions and involuntary nonverbal cues
Consciously telling a lie, trying to hide feelings, a person is nevertheless unable to control the so-called micro-expressions flashing on the face.
These are tools of non-verbal behavior that help a specialist psychologist or simply a very observant interlocutor to recognize deception, an attempt to hide information or emotions, since it is impossible to consciously keep muscles from contracting such muscles. Representatives of certain professions for which the ability to recognize deception is very important are taught this ability, or they look for people who are initially predisposed to reading microexpressions
Thus, the ability to detect a lie is extremely important for customs officials, security services, and investigators.
To correctly recognize facial microexpressions, it is important to remember that facial expressions do not express the subject’s thoughts, but feelings, and if disgust flashes on the face for a moment, this does not mean that it is caused by the subject of the conversation - perhaps the person simply has an unpleasant association
What do gestures say?
Nonverbal communication includes numerous gestures that we sometimes do not pay attention to during communications. However, they can reveal a lot about the true thoughts and intentions of the interlocutor. The table shows the most common combinations of gestures.
| State | Gesture combination |
| Concentration |
|
| Critical attitude |
|
| Positive attitude |
|
| Mistrust | |
| Boredom |
|
| Feeling superior |
|
| Disapproval |
|
| Uncertainty |
|
| Goodwill |
|
